So, it's Friday, my daughter's birthday. Kids are out of school and we plan on hanging out and having fun all day. Hubby gets a call from his dad's step-daughter. They have thrown his dad out of their house. Says he is yelling, semi-violent and taking the door knobs off. Hubby gets on the phone with his dad now and he is pretty much out of control. So angry and upset you can barely understand him. He is being very unreasonable and driving around mad. The rest of the day catered around the FIL and his family drama. They were going to call the police on him so we had to intervene (and couldn't just ignore it all). They don't understand the real effects that HD has on a person. They read the wikipedia description and are 'all knowing'. I'm not condoning his actions and I do think he needs more help, but geesh, he is sick people. You knew that when you married him a year ago. We tried to warn you it would be hard, especially since she (the new wife) still has kids to raise. My FIL is usually happy, kind of in a child-like, naive way. But when he gets angry watch out, he goes on horrible rampages. He makes dumb decisions like turning in family members to Child Services just to get back at them. He wastes money, forgets he's married, and acts like a fool. I hope that when my hubby gets older it will be different because of our strong support system. We have a big group of people who care for him and us.
It's just hard. Hubby says he will never get violent or angry and yell or throw things but I know it is a possibility in the future. I know he doesn't want to do those things but one day his mind is going to think about it differently. I look at my FIL and see H in 20 years. Although they are 2 diff people the disease will grip hold of him in a lot of the same ways. I can't picture him a mean and hateful person but it seems the disease can do it to the best of them.
Do any of you look at older parents or family members and wonder the same thing ?
Any insight or opinion from spouses would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Along with my husband, my brother-in-law has Parkinson's Plus, or more accurately, Multiple System Atrophy. For years Keith refused to look beyond five years, as that was the time frame is brother had before he became totally disabled. Keith only has Parkinson's, thankfully, but I do often see his brother as what our future could be in another 20 years.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. EXACTLY! My father in law has huntington's and is in the worst of it. He's currently in a nursing home because of a terrible suicide attempt. Before that, my husband would tell me about the sneaky and malicious things he'd do to my mother in law. Things like throwing away her favorite foods, or hiding her cell phone. On the day he attempted suicide, he first smashed various things in the house, one thing was a cabinet of precious moments that my mother in law had been collecting for years. I know that it's the disease but it really makes me afraid about what my husband will be like. I also can't picture my husband yelling or doing things to hurt anyone so like you, I hope he'll be different.
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